It all began on a Saturday in May 2016, that I felt the need to get away and find something. I wasn't really sure what I was looking for or where I was going but I got in my car and headed to Tybee Island on the Georgia coast. So many thoughts and feelings were bouncing around inside my head and heart. I didn't know what I was supposed to do with my life anymore; I was lost. During this drive, God's promise in Jeremiah 29:11, " For I know the plans I have for you, " says the Lord, "plans for good and not of evil, plans to give you hope and a future", kept repeating itself like a broken record in my head. At this moment, I had no idea that God was preparing my heart for what I would experience during this weekend away from the craziness of my daily life. Before I reached Tybee Island, I prayed to God to fill the emptiness I had in my life and show me what I was destined to do. The first sign I saw as I entered the island was a church sign with the message, "I miss you. -God". These words hit me hard because I realized how I had neglected my relationship with Christ. I wanted to rediscover the connection, so I found a spot on the beach and started to read the book entitled, "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. If you've never read it, please check it out.
"Redeeming Love" is based on the story of Hosea who was commanded by God to marry a prostitute, who continually went back into the sex trade. Hosea would find her and bring her back to him. But eventually, he let her go and didn't drag her back home. Did he not chase after her because he didn't love her? Absolutely not! He loved her but realized he couldn't force her to love and desire him as much he did with her. There was a quote from the book which says, "She had always seemed so strong. And she was. Strong enough to take unspeakable abuse and survive. Strong enough to adapt to anything. Strong enough to lock herself away inside walls she thought would make her safe." While reading this, I began to cry. For almost as long as I could remember, I had been trying to be strong for those around me and for myself. I built up concrete walls surrounding me and when someone would begin to knock down the walls, I'd start building them back up. This is why I couldn't get close to God because I wouldn't just trust Him and let Him tear my walls away. God really did love me no matter how far I had gone or how "broken" I was, and He had let me go. He was just waiting for me to come back and search for Him. My heart was full. No longer did I have an emptiness. All I needed was to come to the realization of how vast Christ's love truly is. For the first time, I felt Jesus' compassion and love. I can't explain the feeling but if you've experienced His love, there will be no doubt in your mind. All it took was for me to let down my walls and let Him in. I continued my journey from the beach to a lighthouse a couple miles away. As I walked, my soul felt light, not weighted down by all the stresses and worries I had brought with me to Tybee Island. They became minuscule in the light of Christ's love for me. Everywhere around me, I began to see representations of God. It is so easy to become caught up in our stressful and busy lives that we forget to look around at all the joy in life. The lighthouse reminded me that Jesus Christ is our Light when the storm is rough and things seem bleak, He will guide us safely home.
While I was walking, a beautiful purple shell caught my eye. When I picked it up, I discovered the shell was broken but this is why you could see the gorgeous shade of purple because the beauty was on the inside. No matter how it had been beaten up by the waves or how many feet had stepped on it, somehow, there remained the shell's beauty. This single shell inspired the following tale.
The Broken Sea Shell
There once was a sea shell. She was perfect, pretty actually, but then she was thrown around by the waves and over and over again she broke. A little piece here and another piece there. She told God she'd never be thought of as beautiful again but He told her that someone would come along and love her inspite of her imperfections. Sure enough, a girl was walking on the sand and she noticed the little, broken shell. "You are so beautiful", she said. "Because of your brokenness people can see your true beauty that has been hidden inside for so long. Without being thrown against the rocks and being hit by the waves, no one would have seen the real you." "How do you know this?", asked the shell. "Because I learned today that I've been thrown around, beaten down but there is still beauty in the hardships and our brokenness", said the girl.
This tale is a representation of the human life; my life, your life. You are a "broken shell" being tossed about in the turbulent ocean of life. You are thrown against the rocks and the coral. You're cut and finally you're washed up on shore. Relief floods your being, thinking the difficulties are over but then someone steps on you and yet again, you're crushed. "Why?", you ask. "Why again?" Maybe you're being trampled by a divorce or a drug addiction. Maybe your soul is drowning from the grief of losing a loved one to death's cruel grip. You may be wondering why you are faced with such pain and heartache.
Let me assure you this, God does not put worthless stones in the fire, only valuable gold. He refines us through the fiery trials and this is why sometimes you may walk through the fire over and over again. You will not face the heat and flames alone for He will be there walking by your side. God says, “...when you walk through the fire I will be with you and the flame will not scorch you.” You may be broken but you are not ugly. You are not unworthy.
